Relapse

Not had to procrastinate since June the fourth, it appears. Now it is time to write my Personal Statement again there has been some outstanding procrastination.

Found an eleven step guide to making a cup of tea written by none other than George Orwell. Can't help thinking he wrote this whilst doing some serious procrastination before writing 1984.

Agree with most of the points except his rejection of tea bags, although tea bags obviously weren't as mainstream back then. Finally settles it that milk goes in second and NO SUGAR.

http://www.booksatoz.com/witsend/tea/orwell.htm

Pompeii Graffiti

Read that Pompeii is so well preserved you can still read the graffiti on the walls of bars and brothels. Here are my favourites they found:

"Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men's behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!"

"Two friends were here. While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus. They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores."

"Restitutus says: 'Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates.'"

I'm definitely going to start writing stuff like this in latin.

Constantipation

This is a fictional word my ten year old brother came home from school telling me his friend had informed him was an antonym for constipation. After I told him that this sounded like bollocks he said "Seriously, google 'can't stop pooing'". I did, and it turned out to be bollocks.

Along the way, however I discovered that there are several interesting synonyms for diarrhoea. These are the 'Aztec two-step' and 'Montesuma's Revenge'. Both are American slang phrases referring to the tendency of travellers going to Mexico to get diarrhoea. 'Aztec' Two-Step is just a reference to mexicans. Montesuma II was a mexican king killed by invading spaniards so the phrase's origin becomes obvious.

I never knew Mexico had such a reputation for Diarrhoea.

World's First iPhone

Another Uberfact I just had to check.

This was the first iPhone ever invented. It was made in 1983 and is a landline...

Looks sort of like an iPad with a phone stuck on it. Hmmmmmm

No chemistry being learned today, just pointless shit.

Instant Karma

A Colombian guy gets hit by a bus after running away with woman's purse. Classic.

Zack and Cody

For anyone who watched the beloved disney show "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" or the subsequent, equally beloved, (however Ashley Tisdale lacking) "Suite Life on Deck"; here is what Dylan and Cole Sprouse look like now...

Oh dear...

As for Ashley tisdale...

...still awesome.

Celebrities Reading Hate Tweets

These are all from the american 'Jimmy Kimmel' show:

#1: Will Ferrell, Joel McHale, David Cross, Roseanne, Jason Bateman, Anna Faris, Kristen Bell, Will Arnett

#2: Danny McBride, Katy Perry,  Justin Bieber, Zooey Deschanel, Larry King, Kirsten Stewart, Matt LeBlanc, Snooki

#3: Selena Gomez, Simon Cowell, David Arquette, Adam Scott, Hayden Panettiere, Eric Stonestreet, Christina Applegate, Tenacious D

#3: Jessica Alba, Zach Braff, Russell Brand, Brad, Paisley, Andy Samberg, Jessica Simpson, Kid Rock, Ray Romano

Just for good measure, here's Dawkins reading his hate e-mails.